right now, i'm in my room all alone. with all the lights off, except for a lil purple light on my desk a few distance away and my mac's screen light. amazing, i'm not afraid. okay, retarded, cos there's still some form of light in the room. if totally dark, hmmm, i'll hide under my blanket. lol. oh, and i'm sitting on my mattress, not even on my most-comfy bed. hugging my two beloved precious baby pillows. i seriously don't know why am i typing all this, but i just feel like doing it. reminded of writcom the first lesson mr patrick wong asked us to just write anything that comes to our mind. hahahha. lame, okay i know. these three weeks or so have been rather.. bad, i suppose. but again, i'm still getting on fine. definitely some issues are still hanging on, but on well. and, hasn't been hanging out a lot with the clique either. unlike last time everyday. but one thing i'm glad is, nevertheless, we're still as close. and it feels so happy meeting up with them. just like yesterday meeting MN and cal. even though it's for a short 2-3 hours, but it's good. yeah, absence makes the heart grows fonder. man, i love LLL to bits. i so miss the times of night chilling. i miss the flooding essential brew with thunderous laugher. i miss going LT starbucks to chill till late night. i miss the night at west coast. i miss going around in the car. i miss and i love. definitely miss 4e4 peeps too. diona, chengyong, jonathan lalalala. and n_n. been long since i hear from them, literally everyone - szeting dar, grace, wanzi, laytheng, serene and diona again! :D i don't wanna grow up, if everyone is gonna be so busy with their own schedule. i miss secondary school so much. the times in class. listening to MrChia teaching, dozing off in class, sms-ing in class (inter-class, or within class or outside sch!), playing with diona in class and tearing of my chemistry notes (!!!), teasing keanyong, deciding where to go after school, stoning in class, smuggling food into class during recess, trying to be good student each time mdm oen walked past, shouting across the class, all the names-calling and teasing, all the lame jokes within the class.. many many more. i miss the dancers - yiqi, gektheng, baohui, karen etc. the dance time together. awesome. the times we cried, we stressed, we fight, we did everything together. and of course the times we dance together. how sweet is it. time flies. very fast. many things change, people change. awwww. unknowingly i went into the reminisce - mode. hahahaha. whatever. okay, back to now. seriously, i wanna thank a few people big time during these period of time.
yaxin, you know you've been so awesome? i mean, i'm serious. i enjoy talking to you a lot. like i share, you share everything. on phone, sms, at clarke quay everything. and i won't forget we laughing over some things. hmmm. shhh. i know i could trust you with everything. words that you said keep hanging in my head, really. and i still owe you money for the fish market meal that time! anyway, if you realise for 2 times or more, when i'm strike down kinda hard, you're there for me. once, you're still in china, and now you're back in singapore, you're still here. thanks dear.(: loves!
weiru, yes, you've become an ah pek alr. haha. but again, i simply love the way you deal with things. serious but at the same time funny. yeah, gone to china for two weeks. and when you come back, we met up. things that you said are really ... amazing. you're old lah! haha. an old man trapped in a young body. lol. but seriously, thanks a lot. you really make me laughed with what you say to your friends and in the movie theatre and whatever whatever man. hahaha. you make me realise a lot of things too! and yeah, smile because of you lah! LOL. thanks for always being so available. what a great, awesome cousin i've got here! <3
calista, seriously even though we hasn't been meeting up really a lot, and you yourself managing your own struggles, unhappiness and problems, you still care so much for me. thanks so much for being understanding. that i could just be so frank about how i feel, what i'm thinking and things like that. just everything without even gotta hide anything. and you're constantly reminding me that there's people who care for me. those messages and calls everything. same goes for MN, michlo and wq. i know i never need to fear of being judge, and i can be frank with you guys. thanks so much. i didnt expect myself to tell you guys all that either, but i did, everything. i'm amazed by how i could just pour out everything to you guys, really. LLL - a group consisting of different individual but all love one another. yeah, the word - love. (:
jasmine, yeah i know been really really some time since we contact. haha. but nevertheless, i remember how you tried to talk to me regarding all those things. and even get pissed with me for whatever that i'm doing. i see that you care, really. (: and of course, i won't forget certain things that you said. haha. i don't know if you remember, but i do. anyway, still, thanks a lot! (: loves!
diona, haha. think of you i wanna laugh. how silly of you. i remember you sending me message asking how am i every single day. literally every day. man, you're so thoughtful. really. and the night when we talked on phone, i know you're speechless. i never expect you to say anything either. cos i know you won't know what to say. but what shocked me is, you said you were tearing on the other side of the phone. how silly of you. but i'm seriously touched. like really. and the daily message is really .. sweet of you. i thought certain days you would forget, but you send every day. haha. and yeah, i know recently i've been replying message a bit slow, old alr. hahah. no lah, depending on the time, sometimes still slpg. hahaha! you're loved, donut!
chengyong, hahahaha. over the phone too. a pity my dad sleep a bit late, else i think we could possibly meet up for supper (?) or breakfast (?). hahahahaha. like i say, i guess you're probably the one and only guy that i ever share so much with. that i know i could really rely on. you always text and tell me, if ever i need you, you'll be there, and yeah, i know you will. you proved to me. hahaha. thanks for the never failing care, concern MrChua. (: loves!
hwahwa, i know i didn't tell you much when all the things are happening. but i definitely know you care. as much as you're always busy or lazy or whatever lahhh. haha. thanks for informing me that ru is online while she's at china and things like that. and when i told you things, i see your response, i know you care. really. and the naggings to ask me go see doctor. hahaha. kuku, you know you're always my kuku and you know i definitely love you! (:
xueli, this holiday we chatted quite a bit uh? haha. or rather these 3 weeks or so. how funny. you thought i wasn't okay, i thought you wasn't ok. the very first phone chat, okay, not really a chat, i thought you're sad so i wanna call to console you, but ended up, we're laughing over the phone. it has been great chatting, talking to you over sms, msn whatever. and yeah, you're nice lah! always checking up on my back ever since the first injury and stuffs like that. oh oh, and i'm sorry to always whatever you. hahaha. but i can't help it! haha. opps! :D loves!
DVFX dearests - felicia, doreen, jocelyn & hannah. yeah, we didn't meet up often during this holidays. but the time at euminl's birthday i thought it was rather good? i mean, 5 of us have the chance to really sit down and talk. and you know what, you guys really touched me a lot. all the words, the holding of my hands, the pat on my shoulder, the hugs, the prayers, the look that tells me "renee, i care" and things like that. i mean, come on, you guys are fantastic okay. i know i said this million times alr. but i must emphasize you guys are the one that make my stay at NP enjoyable. really. thank God that we gonna stick together throughout the whole three years! cheers! <3
yiqi. i like the stayover at my place. it's when you really share a lot. hahaha. yeah, even though you're always busy with school and such, but i'm really glad when in times when you're down, you text me. it encouraged me, you know? and yeah, the drinking of drinks, eating of chips in my room, and the talking is definitely fun. even though i didn't say much, but nevertheless, you showed your care, concern, love everything. be it sms, talking, or writing on my facebook wall! hahaha and you know what, you gotta know it by heart that i'm always here for you, like always and always. (: you're my laogong remember! hahaha. and i miss dancing with you! haha. gonna crash JJ again to dance. or go NP! LOL. you're loved, dear!
szeting, i know we hasn't been contacting either. no message, no online, nothing. but just to let you know, the lil tag from you asking me to take care actually means a lot. yeah, i know you won't know what to say if i were to cry in front of you telling you everything. i never blame you, or get upset with you or anything. haha. i know you care, just that you don't show it directly to me! lol. but still, i know. be it from myself, or other people telling me. thanks dardar, i still love you as much! ((:
jumbo. hahaha. i know you not gonna see this, but still i'm going to say. yeah, i only know you for a short period of time, and it's really short. the first time we talk is on 19march? on msn some more. don't ask me why i remember the date, it is because this date is significant and you actually talked to me on that day, that's why i remember! haha. anyway, i really appreciate you for coming all the way down to jurong when you're working at hougang and going back to sengkang already. oh man, and at that late hour. and yeah, talked at chevron's pool area. how funny is it. and ended up, gotta climb the gate out cos it's locked. and got into the cab just anyhow and mac-ed with hwa at superbowl. lol. seriously, thanks for lending your listening ears, and even for the words you said. it does help, really. and of course, thanks for your concern over my back too! like what ru said, you're really a great friend. i agree, totally! :D and yea, suddenly you become _ _ _ _ _ _, all thanks to Ru also. hahaha. thanks dear! loves!
lastly for evan. i know things hasn't been going very well for you too. happenings after happenings. you go through emotions of happy, sad, angry, sian, confused, tired, fear, everything. but i know, things are gonna be fine at the very end of the day. when there's low, there's up. stay strong ok? you know i'll always be with you to walk it through. and LLL is with you too. just like what cal always said to me, now i'm saying to you, you're never alone. and yeah, i see the rainbows coming soon, and that's why i know the rain is stopping soon. smile, it's gonna be beautiful. loveyou, baby! (:
did i miss out anyone?
please do tell me okay.
i've got stm, and now at this wee hour of 3.23am,
my brain isn't functioning very well.
sorry if i miss you out,
but please bomb me a message saying i miss you out.
not saying you aren't impt/sig,
but understand that i've got small brain,
in another word,
i'm forgetful and dumb.
hahahaha.
anyway, thanks people.
a million billion zillion whatever-llion times.
(:
somehow,
i find myself missing partying.
i don't wanna hide,
i don't wanna be hypocrite.
i just wanna be true.
off to sleep,
gotta wake up in 3 hours time!
