alright. i've decided to blog about it, after a few days. you said i shouldn't be restricted. so yea, here i am.
you asked if i miss you. i seriously dunno how to reply. yes i do miss you, i did. especially these few days. but i never have the urge to text u saying i miss you. i don't even know if it still matters to you. you know what. nowadays i've been thinking a lot about you. about the times we used to spend together and things like that. i remember past few days, i was texting somebody, and we come upon the topic of sending me home. and randomly, suddenly, i thought of you. i wasn't alone in the bus, but i feel like crying. yes, i miss you. i miss the old good times. i miss the times you send me home. i miss the laughter, the lameness, the crap, the joke, the sharing. i miss me bombing you with all my things and u there patiently listening to me. the times when u sent me home, my slippers broke, u forced me to wear your slippers. the times when i'm sick, and u actually scolded me for not telling you. the times when you knowing i'm sick and you deliver so many things to my house. the times when you'll force me to do something that i don't want but for my own good. the times when i'll get scoldings upon scoldings from you. i remember once, we're at IMM mac, i just keep talking and talking, and you're analyzing my words, you know what is it. i remembered once you went chalet or something, you mms me early in the morning. i remember how u used to text me everyday, mostly at night asking where m i, bugging me to go home cos it's too late or offering to send me home. i remembered each time i sad, you would suggest to buy nuggets for me and things like that. i remember how you're always there ready to care for me, listen to me. i remember how you always accompany me to places when all the others aren't available. i remember a lot of things ..
used to be so close, within a month or two, no more. now, no more topics, no more sharings, no more texting, no more calling, no more communication, no more meeting. all in all, it's like we're no longer in each other's lives. you don't know about mine, i don't know about yours. yes, recently there's once i called you, crying. but it feels different. i dunno why.
sometimes i do wonder, do you feel upset that we drifted? not a bit, but a lot. i don't know. the reason we drifted? maybe you know, maybe you don't. or maybe i know, maybe i don't.
you know even just now when we're talking online, tears just simply welled up in my eyes. i hate to feel that we're so far apart, i rather we don't say it. i hate it when the fact that we drifted is placed on the surface, cos it sucks. but wells, this is the fact.
i dunno. i dunno how it's gonna be like. i've got so much to say .. but i don't know how to say anymore..
no, i'm not blaming you, not at all. i'm just expressing how i feel.
you know who you are.
