26 December, 2008
Dru: nothing comes without God's approval and nothing goes ahead without His knowledge
(:
He's in control, totally.
| till death do us apart<3 | 2:56 AM :)
25 December, 2008
Christmas,
is not about me,
not about anyone,
not about celebration,
not about fun,
it's all about You. (:
i love You, Lord.
| till death do us apart<3 | 2:09 AM :)
24 December, 2008
Psalm 51:10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not case me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit,
to sustain me.
Once i was going to, and then i left ..
heal my heart, Lord.
wash me clean;
purify me in Your presence.
i need You, so desperately.
take whatever that's within away, would You?
Lord,
i know Your angels collect every single tear that drop from my face.
God,
i know You love, You forgive.
Daddy,
it's eating me up,
it's haunting me.
save me, Daddy.
and You say again,
take My hand, I'll take the lead
and every turn will be safe with Me
don't be afraid, afraid to fail
you know I'll be with you through it all
| till death do us apart<3 | 2:20 AM :)
23 December, 2008
saw this post in eveline's blog.
what i needed most, i suppose.
Thank You, Lord, for leading me to eve's blog.
i'm not gonna change any words or any names, cos it's her post.
(copyrighted you know (: )
He's using this to speak right into my heart.
R and Jesus.
*
Take My hand
[sing to 'take my hand' tune from High School Musical 3]
Verse 1:
[Jesus]
Take My hand, take a breath
Draw Me close, take one step
Keep your eyes locked on Mine
Let the Spirit be your guide
Pre-Chorus 1:
[Eve] Won't You promise me
[Jesus] Now won't you promise, that you'll never forget
[Eve] I'll keep trusting
[Jesus] To keep trusting
[Both] Wherever we go next
Chorus:
[Eve]
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding Someone like You
Cause no one would do this, to give his life for me
The way You did
And with every step together
We'll just keep on getting closer
[Jesus] So will you walk with Me?
[Eve] I'll walk with You
Verse 2:
[Jesus]
Take My hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with Me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fail
You know I'll be with you through it all
Pre-Chorus 2:
[Eve] And you can't keep us apart
[Jesus] Even the devil can't keep us apart
[Eve] For my heart is wherever You are
[Jesus] For My heart is wherever you are
Chorus:
[Eve]
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding Someone like You
Cause no one would do this, to give his life for me
The way You did
And with every step together
We'll just keep on getting closer
[Jesus] So will you follow Me?
[Eve] I'll follow You
Bridge:
[Jesus]
Oh, no mountains too high, and no valleys too dark
Cause visible or not, My love won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What you have is worth giving them
You know I believe, We can do it all
| till death do us apart<3 | 4:48 PM :)
it seemed to be eating me up,
gradually but eventually.
rah.
insecurity,
worries,
thoughts,
etc.
where does my help come from,
my help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth.
Daddy Jesus,
i need You here,
every min,
every moment,
every day,
every breath.
| till death do us apart<3 | 4:22 PM :)
a covenant with You, Jesus.
You know it, i know it.
You see right into my heart.
i don't need anyone to judge.
[/edited]
i mean what i say.
even at times my actions seem to differ,
but i know i mean it still.
believe me.
you guys matter a lot to me,
you guys are just so dear to me.
nothing can replace.
don't doubt.
even though sometimes things just go wrong,
unhappiness arise and things like that,
my love for you guys don't cease even for a bit.
you guys are like my pillar of support,
the ones i know i can trust no matter what happen between us, around us, etc
even if the world falls apart.
these aren't empty words,
cos i do really mean it,
deep right down into my heart.
God is my judge,
that i aren't lying.
devil,
if you're thinking of breaking this group of friendship,
ask permission from my Daddy first.
| till death do us apart<3 | 12:28 AM :)
22 December, 2008
i love night walks home, be it from JP or wherever. i love the wind, i love the stars above.
it's perfect because even though i'm alone physically, i know He's walking with me.
love my Daddy above. (:
i miss west coast. be it with n_n or LLL.
i miss the taking photos, writing on the rock, crapping, playing, enjoying their awesome company of n_n. <3
(wanzi's camera girl)
i miss the sitting by the "seaside" and talking, enjoying the breeze, and of course awesome company of LLL. we should take group photos sooooon! and
i don't have zenith's photo. =(
and like i mentioned, i miss my DVFX girls lots toooooo!
(joce, where're you!)
i miss the people (including the bear-family).
don't doubt.
i know it gonna be hard. it tells me i've gotta be much stronger. and i'm not alone.
You're stronger. You'll bring me through all storms. (:
| till death do us apart<3 | 10:06 PM :)
okay, michelle lo and me are guai kias now, studying at harbour front mac. HAHAHAHA. got evidence one okay! 
LOL. and! we're waiting for calista chua to come! i just realise ever since this blog is privated, no more pictures. hahaha. so yea..
know what, hannah, jocelyn, doreen, felicia, i miss you guys a lot! like really a lot. i miss the crapping, fun, laughter everythiing. i miss your presence! lol. we've gotta meet up okay? the past hols we didn't manage to go out as a clique before. i really miss you guys a lot. i know we never managed to have a christmas dinner tml, but we can meet up on a normal day right? (: lovee you guys!
off track, cal just texted me saying she's rushing here now ... hahaha
recently, stomach hasn't been really good. pain, uncomfortable, no appetite everything. :( even the tastiest food i also wont be able to finish. how sad is this?
back to animation foundation! ciao.
God, i need You to walk with me through this.
i can't do this alone.
i desperately need You.
| till death do us apart<3 | 4:38 PM :)
YA XIN,
my happy pill! :D
come back sooon,
i want a feast!
i wanna see you!
i love you girl! :D
hahahahahahahahaa.
sweeeets!
| till death do us apart<3 | 1:16 AM :)
21 December, 2008
i'm still gonna run this race.
no, i don't wanna take a rest, and slowly pick myself up to run again.
no.
i'm gonna continue running.
because when i'm running for Him, after Him,
i know i'll be restored, totally.
because God has never taken a rest from me too.
A thousand times i've failed
still Your mercy remains
should i stumble again
i'm caught in Your grace
what i experienced in God can never be replaced.
and never in my life am i going to exchange anything with Him.
He's the sole purpose i'm living.
He's all that i need in my life time till eternity.
He is, and always will be.
| till death do us apart<3 | 8:23 PM :)
you know what,
now i felt it,
tears are raining.
| till death do us apart<3 | 6:23 PM :)
i wish i could be frank and said everything out,to my lovelies or whoever.
but certain things just can't be said.
i dunno.
the mess,
is for me to clear up.
i can't believe it.
i hope,
i pray.
| till death do us apart<3 | 11:38 AM :)
19 December, 2008
alright. i'm finally back after 4 days of YI camp. (: miss miss miss my lappy, my bed, my room, facebook, my parents and outside world so much! hahahhaa. but still, i NEVER regret going YI camp. it was a total blast man! God's presence just flood the whole place every day, without fail. Praise the Lord!
the services each day is just awesome, totally. esp today. i'm certain of where God wanna me to go. yea, at first i started doubting, but this sentence come to me "take up your faith and believe it". (: Holy Spirit, You're cool! :D
i'm very tired now. so i'm gonna stop here.
oh wait.
tml's danzation! awwwww. i can't wait to see the guys performing! miss 'em lots! esp felicia, jiayous okay! i'm gonna watch you man. hahahahha. all the best!
| till death do us apart<3 | 1:43 AM :)
11 December, 2008
i wonder,how come the times when i need someone to talk to,
is always at the wrong time?
i dunno how to phrase it into words.
is this some form of S.A?
| till death do us apart<3 | 11:03 PM :)
i miss baby J. :(
my heart and my soul,
belong to God and God alone.
What i found in God can never ever be replaced.
Your joy within me never disappear,
Your love covering me never cease.
i won't turn away.
i loveeeee hangouts with my lovelies!
LLL!
it's friday again tml! :D
| till death do us apart<3 | 10:44 PM :)
sometimes i just really wanna voice out my deepest thoughts, deepest feelings.but it seemed like i'm not allowed to.
| till death do us apart<3 | 3:20 AM :)
now i understand the pain without the lightbox, as much as each time i complained when using it. imagine i have to duplicate one drawing, no lightbox = cannot see. and guess what i do. i put two pieces of paper together, face it up to the light on my ceiling in the air and draw. how awesome is that. lol. and finally, i'm done with the walking cycle and turn-around. only left some i need joce/hannah to help me tml. (:
really really love 'em. fel, do, joce and hannah. and i thank them a lot a lot. thank God a million times for putting them in my life. whenever i need help, they helped me unconditionally. whenever i'm down, their ears are available. when i'm sick, they show their concern. whenever i'm discouraged/frustrated, they encourage. they're really awesome! they're the people that spice up my life in dvfx. (: love you girls to bits! :D
and of course, LLL, i miss the whole gang a lot a lot. the girls, the guys. i miss hanging out as a whole group a lot. these people are my support in life. shared joy, burdens everything! they're awesome tooo! loveeeesss!
i'm feeling a bit uneasy now. hahaha. worrying about school work. is there anything not done? lalalalas. i hate this feeling. it's like you've done everyting (as far as you know), but feel there's something undone.
now is 3am alr. and i'm meeting the girls at 745am, which means. i've gotta wake up at around 615am? hohohoohoh.
i rather the issue is not brought up. it's the first time we're talking like that. i thought i'm fine with it, numb to it, but now i know i'm not. ohwells.
off to ... i dunno? make sure things are done before slp?
ciao.
| till death do us apart<3 | 3:00 AM :)
10 December, 2008
if only you really understand my heart ..which i doubt so.
i loveeee Leona Lewis's vocal! if only one day i wake up and my voice sounds like her . hohohohooh. best christmas present! LOL. okay, crap.
| till death do us apart<3 | 10:03 AM :)
bad day to start with. yea, i know it's kinda pessimistic to start off a day by saying this. but well, bad things started off my day. okay, i dunno what m i talking. forget it.
yea, kinda regret sleeping so much yesterday. initially wanna take a short nap and wake up to do animation, so that today can be more relax. but as usual, no discipline. i was far too tired, and i just cant wake up, plus i'm having sweet dreams! okay, crap. so now, i'm up TRYING to do animation, but i know nuts about how to even start. meeting hannah and fel later. i hope can finish the walking cycle before 3D art. =(
my only fun for the day, which i'm really kinda looking forward too is postponed too. movie with jas, st, grace and diona. sighs. okay, i'm the one postponing it. but cause animation is taking up my time! after that, gotta study for social psy test. and get on doing the logo/design for BB(GB)? hmmmm.
i'm just so not feeling good now. whatever.
if it doesn't affect others so much, why must i be so affected?
| till death do us apart<3 | 9:53 AM :)
09 December, 2008
currently at MN's house. yes, it's sucha awkward time. okay, listen to my stupid retarded silly story. reached home from church (doing tribe's flag) at around 9pm plus? charge my lappy, and prepare to study for my locpro test. decided to change location to my bed, cos table area is tooo cold. plucked in the adapter into the socket, and realise lappy is not charging. i thought the socket spoilt, so changed back to the table, and it's not working. okay, i panicked and kinda cried. my lappy left like 20% of batt, and i've got like 8 sets of lectures notes to study, and i barely/never touched any? how to not panick. pissed off. desperate for God to show up. called MN up, and yeaaa, she's nice. tried all sort of things to my lappy, but nothing works. and i think my tone sounded rather bad on msn, sorry cal and van. :( i'm just in a fluster and i'm so scare cos the test is tml (today)! decided to go MN's house, and luckily dad and mum didn't scold. dad's nice enough to drive me here, and even give me $20, cos i told him i'll cab home early morning. fyi, i didn't bring any clothes, just lappy and adapter to MN's house only. and thank God, her adapter works. so which means, it's my adapter prob, not lappy. THANK GOD.
and yeaaa, thank Cal for the call straight after i go offline, and thanks for the prayer. i really never expected that. it helps a lot. like really. thanks love. (:
and thanks evan for trying to comforting and calm me down even though my tone/attitude was rather bad. sorry and thanks. thanks baby!
and so now, MN is studying now, and i just finish reading through the lecture notes. and i'm going to read through it again. (:
thanks MN so much for lending/helping me with this, and so willing for me to come her house. (: thanks lovely!
ohhh. and yeaa, as mentioned. we did the painting of tribe flag today. went to watch soccer match and yeaa, it was cold. anyway, back to the point, really really really really appreciate Cal, Ada, Andy, Jere ('s) help so muchhhhh! without you guys, this flag won't be done, like really. and of course wq for his help when he came down and ws for some comments? hahaha. thanks so much people! appreciate it lots! :D
alright. i'm off to study again. last week of school. can't wait. (:
YI CAMP, here i come.
DANZATION, here i come
CHRISTMAS BASH, here i come! :D
| till death do us apart<3 | 1:10 AM :)
07 December, 2008
and it happened again. so scary. i thought i was going to die or something. :(
total lost of strength, vision become black, feel like vomiting but yet nothing came out, stomach feeling weird, head pain and giddy, can do nothing but lie down (not even sitting). it's so scary. and it's worse during the "process" you know your vision is going from clear to blur to black.
i don't wanan it happen again. like really. i felt so helpless that time, other then keep praying asking God for help. even at that time i felt God is with me, like really. i'm scare but yet comforted.
thanks evan. thousand millions of thanks. i dunno how to show you my appreciation.
alright. after about 2-3 hours of sleep, i'm feeling much better. just that head is still not in the right shape somehow.
oh, and i find this funny. Gideon called asking me if i handed in YI camp form. i was stunned. and the thing is, people thought i didn't hand in cos they dunno i'm Renee! the name in the form is Renee Tan Hui Ting. hahah. okay, crap.
there's a lot for me to blog but suddenly all dunno go where. :(
oh oh. yesterday wedding at The Legends. i like it, cause all of my cousins are there!
love 'em all! :D
Jesslyn, Loraine ( Jensen's gf), Renee
| till death do us apart<3 | 8:50 PM :)
Pastor Daniel's celebration 04 December, 2008
alright, i enjoyed myself at pastor's house. it was a blast! haha. though it's nothing much, but yea, it's just nice lah! i think pastor and his wife is so sweet, godly couple. so nice! :D anyway, we surprised him at his house! namely from oikos: gideon, anthony, xingya, michlo, calista and me + muen, weishun and one more guy. took photos and such. hohoho, and we chose the right cake! pastor loves mint. (:
oh, and i so feel like killing bro.gid. wassup with telling pastor i'll go mad(crazy) if he keep looking at me. hahahah. make me so paisey that i knock my head. lol. all because of me starting my stories at macs. but it's true ok! hahahaa. ohwells ohwells.
oh! and pastor said i've got a problem. just because i asked him if s is pretty. hahaha. for me, it's nothing alr ok. once it's lifted off, it is off. breakthrough, i won't wanna go in again! hahahahaa.
oh, and i know calista is suffering due to my never-ending stories of A. hahahaha. she stopped me from telling weishun. and i dunno what's the smile from pastor for. hahaa. ohwells, com'on, it's only saying. lol.
muen's experience of being approached by transexual is so funny! hahahaa. crap.
OH! and stay over is ON! :D
i think i'm pretty high now. i still have got to go do my animation. =/
ciao.
| till death do us apart<3 | 12:49 AM :)
03 December, 2008
feeling kinda "blah" right now. haha. and i'm so desperate for a good beauty sleep. yes i know, i did take nap and things like that, but i need more.
i cry when i've got not enough sleep (?). hahahahha!
no school on friday, no school on monday. hooray! :D hols after next week, and that's the start of YI camp. excited!
now i realise lychee tea is kinda nice too, beside the usual peppermint green tea or apple tea. haha.
tell me, should i continue to sleep or should i do some work, and sleep? hmmmm.
i can't wait for friday & sat. i hope daddy allow the stay over, and sat is house party! oh oh, and the wedding dinner! (: lovely.
ahya, i dunno what to say.
i miss something, or someone? i dunno.
i've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me today, but i dunno. complex, hahaha, human's mind and emotions.
of so many times, there's only once.
is that the first and last time?
to someone, stay strong. you're facing your giants. you're small, but you've got Someone big up there. He'll protect and bring you through no matter how hard it is. (: you go, girl! hearts!
when the world fades away, Your love remains. <3
| till death do us apart<3 | 2:05 AM :)
01 December, 2008
God
i want the fragrance of Christ
i desperately desire for it
i wanna be Your godly woman
i wanna serve You faithfully
i wanna You to use my mightily
i wanna my heart be Your home, Holy Spirit
i want i want
i want more of You,
less of me,
none of me,
but all of You
this is my prayer, O Lord.
i'm not there yet, but i'm desiring, praying to be one that You'll always smile at. (:
| till death do us apart<3 | 6:32 AM :)
i'm doing research on com issues now. yes, at this weird hour, starting from 4am. lalalas. and i feel like sleeping, and my research is like getting no where!i've got like one and a half more hour to go before i need to stop, and get my butt off to school. =( and now, 'm hoping we don't have to finish our essay in class, and that dateline is end of the day.
God, help me. You know i'm bad at doing all this. i need You so much.
the doubts, the fear is getting so much stronger as the time approaches. Lord, i know if it's in Your will, it will come to pass. but the thoughts just keep creeping into my mind, this and that. i shan't worry, i wanna rebuke those thoughts. it's unhealthy, i'm assuming, guessing too much. no no, this cannot be the way. God, i feel so discouraged somehow regarding this... but still, i know, broken dreams are coming true. in any way, Your will be done.
& right now, i'm kinda feeling down, because of one person. okay, i dunno why should i feel disappointed or whatever also. but i do. apparently, i'm being concern and so i asked. but no reply. and it's making me feel like i'm so irritating instead of being concern. =/ okay, that's retarded.
i'm back to doing my research. the clock is ticking away!
and i miss my girls. (: they're still the best ever!
| till death do us apart<3 | 5:31 AM :)
