Dance In His Love ;

Lead me.

10 November, 2008

God, i'm waiting for You here. right here in this room. i dunno why, but i'm in such a dilemma.

danzation, YI camp, christmas bash. all matter so much to me.

God, i remember the joy i had when i got into NRA. i remember me jumping, dancing with joy, thanking You. i remember me telling You i'll dance for You, in every performance. i remember me relying, seeking You so much in every practices. i remember me telling You how stressed, how scare i was. i remember the joy i had each time i finish the practices. i remember You were with me everytime i call upon Your name. i remember You teaching me so much through this.

God, i do remember telling You, if danzation is to clashed with YI camp or whatever, i'll give danzation up. cause it's You who helped me in. else, i would still be cca-less.

God, i talked about this and asked before. Gideon pointed out, is it a trap or is it a door? would God actually help me get in, and yet allows everything to clash? but still, God made a way in me able to go for night sessions. Andrew said, since i said through NRA God actually taught me how to rely on Him, den i've gotta prioritize. pray. Eve said, it might not necessary be the case that God wants me to go YI camp (though it's like common sense to me), but bring it to God, ask Him to show. and it reminded me not to use my mind and think what God would wants. there's a lot of possibilities. it might not always go thru the "logic" way.

God, like what grace told me. every performance, every experience means a lot to a performer. i agree. every performance means a lot a lot to me. but God, You know Your business means so much more to me. yes, i do agree that when i'm talking to gideon, and the thought of me giving up danzation, my very first performance in NP, my very first performance ever since sec4 SYF, i'm sad. i feel like crying. i cried. after a few months of practices, and one more month to danzation, i'm in a dilemma. but God, i wanna obey. i wanna go where You want me to go. if You wanna me give up danzation, i will. just a word from You, Lord, whatever it is. really.

God, You know my desires. You see this heart. You know the reasons why these tears are falling. God You know it all. i'm waiting for You, Lord. as long as it pleases You. i need Your directions so badly.

Lead me, Lord.

| till death do us apart<3 | 11:21 PM :)