31 October, 2007
went out for dinner with brother, weisong cousin, jensen cousin, kenta cousin and amos. yea, as you see, 5 guys and im the only girl. lalas. simple dinner, and we catch up with each other. i dun feel weird at all, though we seldom meet up.
hah. weisong first qns to me is " Os all fail liao uh? ". so bad right. lol. nvm. that time he motivated me saying, if i dun score well, i dun talk to him. means he does think highly of me still. HAH! and he also told me a week ago, my brother think i can score too. but what's the point when im not confident at all? rah!
today's e maths paper keep ringing in my mind. sighs. not at ease at all. tried to put it aside but still, i can't. lalas.
im reminded times and times that english and e maths i gotta score. can i, still?
take away this uneasiness, O Lord.
i wanna put my trust in You.
assure me that You'll help me, bring me through, Jesus.
| till death do us apart<3 | 12:56 PM :)
just done with E maths paper 2. easy paper, i suppose? but i dunno how im gng to score.
had very bad stomachache just before exam. mood was low too. superr tired. had mental block throughout the whole exam. can you imagine the first qns of showing its 74cents i also dunno? damn. jus liddat go thru the whole paper. & once again, my graph is an weird shape. sighs. the only thing i can hope for is no careless mistakes, cos i didnt managed to check. marks gone again, as usual.
how will the result of e maths be? will at least A2 be mine?
the pain in my shoulder is getting worse each day. just now during maths, just before gng to start on graph, it's burning hot and sharp pain. never have been like this before. sighs. wad to do.
those papers that've been done, and passed, how will i do? well? bad? average?
will mass com still be for me?
lalas.
yes, say im emo, down whatever today.
| till death do us apart<3 | 2:25 AM :)
30 October, 2007
perhaps like what is said, reverse role. im doing all the things which i didnt do in the past. hard role, im adapting to it, and its hard.
one time, two time. how much it exactly hurts.
words that torn my heart apart.
can't blame.
but still, im sorry.
perhaps one day i'll get tired of saying "sorry".
& each time i said it, it's feeling so terrible within.
you've left me alone with tears tonight. and will be throughout the night.
& i didn't expect you bear to.
where's the reply.
| till death do us apart<3 | 4:24 PM :)
29 October, 2007
tiring day for everyone, i supposed? hah. three papers in one day. english paper 1, english paper 2 and e maths paper 1.
english paper i think it's still okay, paper 2 a bit.. ehh.. haha. i dunno luh, still managed to fill in every ans though. HAHA.
mich, yea yea. mass com uh? hahaha. just really hope can go in together. if it's God's will, we definitely can. HAHA.
e maths was okay. haha. or rather good. easy paper. though i know i lost approximately 10 marks or so alr due to careless, again and a few dunno. lalas. spotted alot of careless which made up about 8 marks and quickly made changes. just hope no more of careless and can score for this paper. ((: God, it's all Yours, EVERYTHING.
example of careless mistakes :
1) 12 + 3 = 18 ? HAH. my pri sch maths also fail. but i spotted this! so yep.
2) 138 / 20 = 6.4 ? hah. the ans is 6.9. i lost this mark. RAH!
tml's e maths paper 2. hopefully can do also. ((: friday is physics, and it's really freaking me out. hrmmm.
give me the wisdom, Lord. by Your grace, i know everything will be okay, be it ANY subjects. why should i worry or fear, when i got You. i place my trust in You, do all that i can, and the rest is all Yours. thank Jesus. ((:
| till death do us apart<3 | 5:23 PM :)
28 October, 2007
one week down. ((: leaving behind english, Emaths, physics, social studies and the two paper 1s.
history was still alright~~ chapt 10 came out. thank God. thanks for the dream. haha! but still, i forgot how to link back like how i did on prelims. =X as for source based i got the facts of contextual knowledge all wrong. rah! nvm. its over. it's in God's hand again. ((:
finally went to make the jersey with the girls. (((: and i seriously hope michng's and mine wun be too big. hah. how good if there's XM this size. which according to darl is between S and M. hah. rah! gonna get it soon! (((:
church was alright yesterday. foreign pastor. service is always special every week. ((: headed to town to meet kuku after that. darl too. her church friends went off and she joined. haha. NYDC for dinner and home sweet home.
just come from buddy hoiages. not very effective today. kinda very "no mood". i dun like tml. three papers sia. rah! seriously wanna score for english. and also e math luh. but im neither good in maths nor sciences, only languages slightly better. so .. yep. and the course me and michng wanna get into needa have good grades for english. haha. but yea, with God all things are possible. ((:
just talking about L1R4 with the girls. hah. possible to get into the course actually. provided the remaining subjects is manageable. ((: if im called to go in, i will definitely get in. hah
alot of people are falling sick. eg: NICOLE deardear, ah gong etc. and yea, darldarl too. please take care alright.
press on till the end. fun is approaching. haha.
| till death do us apart<3 | 9:33 PM :)
25 October, 2007
chemistry paper 2 down also. at least more relieved.
didn't feel prepared at all. was very anxious, scared and no confidence all the while till i met the girls for lunch. calista passed me a paper. it's from michelle. (((: God's promises. yea, after reading the verses, peace filled my heart. no more anxious, nothing. and definitely, like what mich say, today's paper can be used to testify for God! i prayed before starting the paper, did whatever i can, and i know the rest is leave to Daddy. ((: feel good after the paper, tho i know i gave alot of stupid answers. hah!
no point brooding over A Maths and chem paper 2 alr, be it i've confidence to score or not. God's grace is all i need. im leaving everything into His hands. ((: working hard for others subjects is what i've to do now. ((:
NICOLE DEAR, don't tear. you're confident of A Maths, don't you? why let chemistry affect you so much? there's still more subjects to go. dun let chem hinder you. score for the rest ehh? look forward. ((: i love you, always. <333!>
God's promises, I CLAIMED THEM! AMEN!
bless me in my studies, O Lord.
i need You to run this last lap victorously. ((:
love Jesus. <3
| till death do us apart<3 | 10:02 AM :)
24 October, 2007
A Maths is finally down. can throw the books aside alr. comments for A Maths Os? easy paper, i think. but but but, that's not the end. i think i lost quite some marks alr. :(( careless, dunno and stuffs. RAH! not at ease, seriously. still able to hit target? i dunno.
ohya, i seriously needa thank God for today. im left with 15 mins with those i dunno undone. and i feel someone is telling me to stop doing and go check. and yea, i did that. and know what? i spotted a stupid mistake. wrong sign. luckily i changed it and saves my 3-4 marks. ((: i know its God who told me that. and this 3-4 marks will make a difference i know. hah. yesterday, i think God did ask me to do EITHER instead of OR? i didn't know. perhaps if im more sensitive and i obeyed, i might get 3 marks or so more? God DID teach me how to attempt questions which i dunno for both days! (((: how great is our God? glory to Him!
i know by God's grace, it wil turn things around. God, i hand this A Maths paper up to You. take away this un-ease feeling from me and teach me how to trust You and with faith. ((: i know You're beside me while i took the papers and i seriously thank You for that. ((: be with me, through the whole period of Os. i need You, Lord. give me the wisdom that i need. ((: let my results bring glory to You, Jesus.
tml is chemistry paper. the subject which i've been failing for these two years. rah! no deny, of cos im scare luh. God, help me!
shoulder's not getting any better. it's hurting really alot. sighs. so much so, today my hand keep trembling while doing the paper. rah!
O's is so draining.
and i seriously pray the result will be satisfying!
| till death do us apart<3 | 10:47 AM :)
22 October, 2007
okay. yes, i went back on my words. im back in blogger again. can't help it. haha.
this is because i just wanna blog and tell everyone how touched im by these two sweetest people, kelly and pei hwa!!! ((((:
SAW THIS? it's from them! GOSH! a big SURPRISE and ENCOURAGEMENT AT MY DOORSTEP!
I LOVE THEM CAN? MORE THAN WORDS! MARK MY WORDS! <333!>
lil sweet messages from them. SWEETS! i know you guys can't see, but ahhh, what matters most is i can see! hahaah! LOVES! (((:
( front bottom )
this is the back. (((: nice nice*
dearest kuku and shifu, you guys are so nice! i never expected this, serious. tears almost fall luh when im back in my room. LOVES LOVES LOVES!
what a big encourgement!
beyond words can describe how touch m i, how happy m i, how encouraged and how motivated luh! i wanna express how exactly im feeling, but i can't. its really just more than words uh. im feeling HIGH~~
YOU GUYS ROCK MY WORLD. I LOVE YOU!!! ((((((((:
and yea, i just received msg of encouragement from MrChia too. thanks MrChia! <333!
i will do well and not disappoint you. ((:
this is what you wanna hear, and i said it. CHEERS! love you!
| till death do us apart<3 | 1:45 PM :)
lalas. just a short post before i go practice a bit more of A Maths. ((:
MrChua corrected me just now that i got my integration wrong! argh. anyway, thanks! (:
went buddy hoagies with calista, lam and chengyong. mich ng and mich lo came over and joined us later. not long after that, me and mrchua went for tuition. dunno why, both of us felt the stress after tuition. tears almost drop cos i felt i wasn't prepared still. went back to buddy hoagies. started doing questions and i felt better. i seriously pray that i will be able to perform tml! ((:
i do my best and my God will do the rest. AMEN! ((:
ohya, i suddenly realised i like MrHeng alot. hah. i think he is cute alright? lolls. today during tuition was kinda admiring him at times. i know i sound sick. haha. but its true luh! i realised he's not bad looking. (((((: and and and his reaction is VERY CUTE! i love him alright! haha.
& wanzi darling today sent a bible verse over which encouraged me alot! ((((: thanks darling. mummy loves you to bits!
James 1:5 - " if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. "
its cool, isn't it? Daddy in heaven is AWESOME!
God, i claimed this promise! ((((: give me the wisdom, strength and be with me throughout the exam! i need You, Lord! <333!
| till death do us apart<3 | 12:38 PM :)
21 October, 2007
first of all,
michelle ng, thanks for the words you said and the words you wrote for me uhh. (((: seriously touched. i love you, girl!
church was cool as usual. ((:
presence of God is awesome. it's something words couldn't describe.
hungry for more. ((:
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from nothing into eternity
Your Words they comfort me.
im reborn in Your name, in Your grace, in Your mercy and in Your love, Lord. <333!
ohya, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, EUGENE BROTHER! i love you! (((:
| till death do us apart<3 | 3:29 PM :)
20 October, 2007
tired tired tired day! rah! haha. slept at ard 1am plus last night and woke up at 5am. ((((: it's like normal school day. hah. or should i say normal sch day i also didnt wake up so early. lol. went to pioneer mall mac to study with the usual ones. ((: keep wanting to fall asleep there luh. but after all not bad. i finished studying chemistry notes. (:
initally only calista, me, jonathan, mrchua, shurong, edward and deardear. baby, kok leong, jeremy and kendrik came over later. wow. its eleven in total! haha. occupied the whole stretch of tables. lalas. nothing much luh. crapped, studied, ate and talked. haha. poor baby fell down while accompanying kendrik go cut hair. and ohya, poor deardear suffering from chest pain or something.
went home, changed, get my things and headed bugis alone. what's so surprising me going out alone? hahhaa. funny luh. get the things and off i go to meet darl. ((:
went IMM to eat AJISEN. which is like finally after so long. hahaha. YUMMY!
i never eat prawns. exceptions for this and my mummy's chilli prawns! hahaha.
t
his is mine. (((: didnt managed to take darl's one. cos she started eating before i can take. hah!
me with my blue coral soda. (((: i think its nice. hah!
darl is greedy! she wanna have both! haha. but i still love her! ((:
she started on her food. that seemed like not enough for her. haha! she's complaining that the rice there is very expensive, so LITTLE. haha.
TADA! she's done! haha. okay, i know im lame. but just too bored cos i finished earlier than her! hahaha. lalas.
nothing much actually. was late for tuition once again. =X hrmm. darl was irritated by an old auntie who INITIATED to ask us give up our seats for her. hahha. and i was sleeping alright. lol. being kind, we stood up and let her have both seats. haha. headed home after tuition.
one word, three pronouciation. (((: on this special day.
& if its You who choose it for me, show me, Lord.
going to study now. hopefully can. time table has been planned for me and Os is 2 days away. rah!
bye for now, people.
| till death do us apart<3 | 3:53 PM :)
19 October, 2007
went back to school again today. my dearest baby threatened me, using my calculator. hah. but still i love her la! ((:
calista, baby, huishi and xiao bai said "don't suit". hah. hrmm. how how? but darldarl and deardear said "suit". kuku said "okay/arlight". haha. you guys know what im referring to uh. lol!
darl came to school study at around 2pm plus. ((: nothing much. i think today i got no mood to study at all? im seriously glad that i've completed my chemistry notes after so long, and now my brain got more knowledge of chemistry. hah. gotta read up and practice alr! history is like next fri and i haven start on it. :((( im scared, okay. haha. lalas. whatever.
kelly, yaxin, pingleh, qizhen and kuku came back for badminton today? haha. nothing much. first step into the hall, my attention is all on yaxin. she cut her hair. and i think she's like pretty la! lol. was kinda mesmerised by her for a moment. kuku looks very cool! haha. im serious, with the purple-blue coloured wax. oh gosh. i also want! lalals. yaxin said she dun welcome me into the hall. :((( and after that she wanna play badminton with me. hah. contradicting uh? but wells, she's like playing me on the court. okay, i know im not a badminton player. hahah. the dark chocolate kuku gave is nice! yummy! love you guys!
i like the time at the spiral staircase. the expression, the question. it makes me feel like im the weaker one again. seriously, i rather i be. at least things is much more easier? dunno how to express. but tears almost drop at that instant. (:
3 more days to Os. rah! &i seriously feel im not prepared yet. lol.
im pressing on ...
| till death do us apart<3 | 1:47 PM :)
18 October, 2007
i tried to be strong. i tried to be okay.
i managed to, but i failed again.
managed to stay up whole night to finish up my chemistry notes. that's something that i guess i can be proud of myself at least. headed to school straight away. polish up the last bit. nothing much. my head is feeling heavy, due to the lack of sleep perhaps.
the whole night of work,
give me the sense of satisfaction.
but what's worrying and fearing,
is how the fruit of the hard work will be like.
im afraid it will all be in vain.
perhaps it's exam period and everyone's feeling stressed up and everything. people getting so affected by things and so worn out. people feeling like breaking down and tears are so often. people tried very hard to buck up, hoping things will work out. people hanging on and on, never letting go, trying to be okay. but tears are still the one right in front.
getting tired, feeling frustrated is so common.
thing seemed to be falling down right at this crucial period.
getting tired of oneself, getting tired of things around.
feels like dying, feels like running away.
but days still gotta go on, helplessly.
have you ever feel that you tried so hard to cheer people around up and yet you realised you can't do much? have you ever try to give in your best, show your love&concern, say and do things, yet you're asked to get tired and be tired? have you ever feel so useless, but yet you don't wanna just give up? have you ever feel so rejected, but you stil wanna be the one there, lending shoulder, lending a listening ear?
yes, it's obvious im not okay. i dunno what's wrong with me. feelings suddenly so cock up. feeling so stressed up with chemistry once again. O's just a few days away and people around wasn't okay recently. it does break me to see them sad. i wanna do something, say something but i felt that my words, my actions are all so useless, worthless. i tried to show my love&concern yet things could not stay in place for long. im never tired and dun wanna be tired, cos i wanna be the one pulling you up and making your geniune smile surfaced again. im feeling so rejected now. but im telling you, im not giving up, till the day i know very well you're perfectly okay with a geniune smile. i'll still press on. even if it's hard, i will. even when words pierce through, i'll take it up and swallow it. cos i know everything will be worth it to see the mask tear down, and geniune smile appearing on each of your faces again.
i expected an unneccessary expectation which bought myself own disappointment.
im scare of hurting others & hurting myself. serious.
God, would You just teach me how?
| till death do us apart<3 | 5:34 AM :)
17 October, 2007
things always fall at the wrong time. &sometimes it just too hard to take.
seeing deardear's tears last night, or should i say two nights before is indeed heart-breaking. deardear, im glad you didn't shut your door on me, serious. im touched when you actually told me that at sweensens. ((: you gotta be strong alright? Os is just a few days away. mug hard, deardear! i love you! always just a call away. <3
went emo'g with miss lil tardy two nights before at stadium. the atmosphere was really cool. the packet of tissue dar gave initially was for nicole. but ended up she dun want, and i finished using up. alright, tears just fall uncontrollably. dear, thanks for hearing me out. i know your shoulder's always there. (:
i felt im in Your arms, in Your embrace the moment even before i slept. You catch me when im falling, Lord. so much for the dream and i think it's not just a normal dream. it taught me something. & it really set me thinking if the baby is referring to the lost one. i didn't know can relate so much untill eveline told me. and ohya, both of our dreams is about baby girls! hahaha. cute!
headed to CU for lunch. darl came over to sleep, while i did my chemistry. alright, PEACE. (((: the feeling of doing the notes today ( or say yesterday ) is really cool. i can just keep doing without stopping. motivation. how i wish everyday can be like "today" and revision won't be a problem. but now, Os is just a few days away and i dunno where m i alr. lalas. im fighting the fear, especially for that.
help me, God!
went over to miss lil tardy's house. MrChua came over later. okay. first time see him so hot. cheer up alright, boy. ((: get over it, and be yourself again. &thanks for the company and entertainment all these while.
went to pioneer's mall mac to eat dinner/supper with dear and MrChua. send deardear home, before i walked along the road for a while and cabbed home. the night breeze is cool. & i seriously wish i could just walk all the way home. hah!
gonna continue to do my chemistry notes later on. as promised i'll get it all done before i get to sleep. if no time, i dun mind missing my sleep. hah. going back school for flag rising later on with the girls. lol. perhaps we gonna be the few weirdos standing at the only sec4 area, in 4E4 line? hah.
ohya, weisong, my dearest cousin, just tried to motivate me in my studies. hahah. he said if i dun score well for Os, i dun go talk to him. :(( that's too harsh luh, brother. haha. &darl have been nagging at me too. she cares luh! haha. kuku have been very encouraging too! lol. i'll work hard, guys. no worries! LOVES!
off to do my chemistry. bye people.
| till death do us apart<3 | 4:31 PM :)
15 October, 2007
i dunno why but headache had been "intense" nowadays. rah. just now was really bad. i almost cried. =( lalas. and now it wasn't okay still.
gonna packed my room later, before starting to do anything else. i think it's getting messier til the extent i cant tolerate. hah. perhaps mummy gave up on nagging at me? lolls. i'll be a neat and tidy girl from now on. hahahaha. lalas.
ohya, MISS LIL TARDY! I MISS YOU! hahaha. LOVES.
went to marina with darldarl on friday. ((((: kinda just going out to chill&dinner? river is forever so nice and peaceful. i simply love hanging out there. atmosphere blah blah. and know what, there's a gutarist behind. awesome. what's lack is the breeze. hahaha.
saw this? lolls. bought at marina. GORGEOUS. i just love this word luh! not saying im grogeous okay. hahaha.
from darldarl. LOVES! perhaps she is trying to mean something? hahaha. im just JOKING. lalas. im not so thick-skinned like what weiru said okay? HUMPH.
ohya mich, if i can find one mesmerising or captivating, i'll get it for you. haha. and calista, if i can find one hot, i'll get it for you too. haha. and darldarl, i will get you one FABULOUS! if possible. mark my words, girls! ((:
isn't it nice? FAITH in PURPLE! hahaha.
first part of the sentence is in the bible? hebrews 11:1 . heh
alright, calista bought me this note book yesterday. thanks darling. i was shocked luh. initially was still sayin her, how come didnt wait for me cos i also wanna buy. and she handed me this book. ((((: and and and, the best thing the nice word, FAITH is in PURPLE. awesome! hahah. i love this note book alot, im serious, girl. you know it. hahaha. thanks darling, i really appreciate it and appreciate you! LOVES!
yesterday church is simply awesome! firstly in cell group i lost $0.70 due to playing animals game. haha. im slow, i know. lolls. church service is very cool. initially praise and worship im very distracted till kinda pissed off. mood kinda down alr. but when brother Rixiang is preaching the sermon, its very cool. im attentive okay. haha. and the worship after that is needless to say. God's presence fall in place strongly. i've never felt that way before. so much so, i dun wish to leave the moment, dun wish to leave church. haha. God is AWESOME!
sweet presence of God, i want more!
it not gonna only be once, but everytime! AMEN!
(((:
| till death do us apart<3 | 2:58 PM :)
14 October, 2007
alright, im feeling bad&guilty now. SUPPOSED to be studying now, as promised to darl, but ended up im in blogger. =X
i know im abit slow to blog about photos about seoul garden and kbox blah blah. but i will still post. haha. they served as memories luh. ((:
in school ; graduation celebration. (: 05-10-07
this is huishi. she's sweet, isn't it? hah. <3!
deardear with Mrchua! ((: fun-loving people! <3!
calista, forever giving stunts in photo! haha. she's love!
jeremy and dear. lolls. he's funny! haha. but helpful too!
calista and jonathan lam. lolls! aherm.
the three of us with our beloved MrChia. <3333! 
with my darling again.(:
miss lil tardy is love! ((: 
diona is cute ehh? hahah. love you, girl! i miss bombing M1 =X
deardear with adrian. the cute, humourous guy! ((:
with MrChia again. (((:
the four-years-peeps. LOVES! ((:
huishi, diona, tzuhsuan and me! i love them all! (((:
with MrChua! haha. He's nice luh! ((((: thanks, boy!
with brenda! i dunno why, but i love this pic alot. hahaha. girl, take more during chalet ehh? ((:
final. 4E4 is LOVE! <33!>before heading to meet class peeps to seoul garden, i went out with darldarl. LOVES!
you never fail to brighten up my day!
oh baby, IMAGE IMAGE! hahaha. love you to bits, darldarl!07-10-07
for the first time i went kbox. ((: darl, kuku, kelly, karen and colleen.
this is colleen. (((: im going to flood her with chemistry questions! haha. LOVES!
my dearest kuku! always so nice, caring and wonderful! love love LOVES! (:
last but not least, presenting to you, my DARLDARL. the one who's always standing by me! i love her!
heading church later. i've been slacking the whole time. yea, mayb like what weiru said. im a full-time slacker. =( lalas. im drowning in a pool of misses. RAH!
| till death do us apart<3 | 2:45 AM :)
